YOUR CEREMONY,
YOUR WAY
Every life is unique and therefore, so is every death. There are no rights or wrongs, no do’s or don’ts and no musts or must not’s. I can help to provide a unique and meaningful ceremony that reflects not only your beliefs, wishes and values but those of your loved ones also.
Sadly, when families are touched by death, life suddenly becomes very complicated and overwhelming. Not only do they face grief head on, many are faced with arranging a funeral for the very first time too.
The traditional option is to contact a local funeral director who can arrange everything for you. However, more and more families now make the decision to have more control and do some or all of the arranging themselves. One way you can be sure to give the person who has died the best send-off you can is to choose your own funeral celebrant to officiate the ceremony.
WHY CHOOSE A CELEBRANT?
The days following a death are often very painful, emotional, numbing and confusing. This is OK, they are normal reactions experienced when someone dies. Should the death follow a prolonged period of illness or suffering, relief can also be felt. Relief is often accompanied by guilt – why do I feel relieved that someone has died?
As your celebrant, I am a complete stranger. But I have the great privilege of being invited into your life at a very difficult and fraught time. I have knowledge and time to support and offer guidance for you and your loved ones.
I show families a way through the labyrinth of what appears to them to be absolute and utter chaos. When I meet a family for the first time they can still be in shock or even denial. I take things slowly and listen very carefully. I am as perceptive as possible and match my tone with theirs and I totally focus on the family. I lead the flow of questions about the person who has died in a natural way and I make copious handwritten and mental notes. I hear the meaning of a family’s words rather than just the sound of their voices.
Upon returning to my home office, the entire ceremony will be individually crafted. It will be personal, meaningful and carefully constructed. I can’t stop your grief but I can create a ceremony that makes you burst with pride at having known such a person.
As a qualified civil funeral celebrant, I can help lighten the load that families carry. I can provide a good funeral ceremony conducted with compassion, understanding and diplomacy. A funeral ceremony that can bring comfort and at its best, have people leaving who say ‘he or she would have loved that’.
A well-constructed and worded funeral ceremony does not deny the pain of death, it just makes it more bearable. It is the beginning of an essential journey from grief towards acceptance and healing.
I will visit you in the comfort of your own home to discuss how I can support you and help you to create and deliver a ceremony that honours the memory of your loved one. I can help you choose words, music, poetry and/or readings which you may or may not wish to include. I will liaise closely with your chosen Funeral Director, if using, to ensure that together we achieve the very best for your loved one, remaining supportive, caring, compassionate and professional at all times.
YOUR JOURNEY
Common misconceptions over what people have the independence and freedom to choose with regards to the ceremony and maybe offer advice of places they can go to find out more - click through to Know Your Options page
KNOW YOUR OPTIONS
RECOMMENDATION THROUGH A FUNERAL DIRECTOR
1. Initial contact with the family is via the phone, to arrange a convenient time to visit and discuss the ceremony. Friends and family members are welcome to attend the meeting which enables a greater contribution to the ceremony. The meeting takes place at a time convenient to the family and in most cases will take place at the family home or the home of the person who has died. If a meeting is not possible, communication via phone, email or Facetime to craft and create the ceremony is possible.
2. During the family visit, details given from the funeral director are checked, the ceremony is discussed in detail, a small family tree is compiled and stories and memories of the person who has died are listened to. There is no agenda and family visits take as long as they need to take and explanation and guidance is given throughout. The visit can be a rollercoaster of emotions but most families report that although anxious about the visit, it is a pleasant experience and not one to be afraid of.
3. After the meeting and keeping in constant communication with the family, usually via email, the ceremony is crafted, created and approved by the family prior to delivery on the day. Initial approval is sort for the running order, then the ceremony wording and lastly the life story or eulogy. If the family do not communicate via email additional visits can be arranged.
4. Constant communication with the funeral director is maintained throughout to provide a seamless and supportive service.
5. Fees are usually paid via the funeral director
CONTACT INDEPENDENTLY:
1. Initial contact with the family is via phone and the needs of the family are discussed to ensure that appropriate services can be offered and then the above process is followed.
2. An invoice is raised and given directly to the family and fees are paid directly to the celebrant.